By age five or six, children learn to keep their negative observations about others to themselves. They no longer blurt out the embarrassing comments common to three and four-year-olds who do not yet understand that people feel bad if tell them, “You are fat.”
Asperger’s Disorder children, however, seem to take pride in pointing out the faults of others, and they have no hesitancy doing so in front of others. Not only do they point out the faults of their peers they have no discomfort in pointing out the faults of adults and authority figures. Their feedback to adults and peers alike is filled with sentences starting with, “You should…” They do not gently give a helpful suggestion, but a statement that clearly lets you know that what you are doing is inadequate and you obviously need to be told what to do instead.
As a group leader, I have had Asperger’s Disorder children tell me how I should run the group, what words I should use for my lesson plans, and how I should give a time-out. They are blind to how their authoritative and confident manner gives off a sense of arrogance and insensitivity.