Understanding that your child is not saying hurtful things in order to be mean can make it easier for you to take the time needed to teach him that the truth must not always be spoken aloud. Expect that you will have to teach him this lesson again and again for several years. Because he does not understand what the insulted person feels like, he will have a very hard time grasping what it is that he is not supposed to say. When he finally grasps the concept that telling people they are ugly is hurtful, he will not be able to generalize this to also know that he should not tell people that their teeth or hair are ugly. Because Asperger’s Disorder children think very literally and do not apply what they learn to other situations, you can expect them to continue in truth-bound thinking for many years.
If you find that your child is not responding to your verbal teachings, you may find it helpful to make a list of comments that are not okay to say to others. As you hear him make inappropriate comments to others, you can add them to the list that you review with him weekly.