Friendships take some effort to keep alive. Simple actions of calling friends, inviting them over to play, giving them one of your collector cards, or letting them lick the frosting from the bowl are ways children maintain friendships. Teens may maintain friendships by keeping trust and sharing clothing, music, and secrets. When both friends are equally invested in keeping the friendship alive and each puts forth effort, the better the friendship.
Even equally maintained friendships need occasional repair. Lasting friendships involve both children working to maintain harmony by engaging in experience sharing, social referencing, coregulation, and maintenance. Yet even with both children having good skills, every friendship is bound to have some disagreements and conflicts. Children and teens with good social skills are motivated to repair misunderstandings and resolve conflicts. Good friendships involve both children working to repair the problem.
Friends who share an equal role in maintaining and repairing the friendship are more desirable and more likely to have long-lasting and deeper friendships. If one child has to do all the work to maintain and repair the problems, the friendship is likely to die when he tires of being the only one invested in keeping the friendship alive.