Many psychologists believe that emotional intelligence is exceedingly more important than academic intelligence. Being book smart only carries one so far in life and does little for personal relationships. Those with the highest skills in emotional intelligence have happy lives, successful marriages, close friendships, and high self esteem. They intuitively use emotional intelligence to draw others to them and make others feel good being in their company. They make good leaders who can resolve conflicts, manage people, and motivate others.
Psychologists estimate that 80–90 percent of our communication is nonverbal. Through nonverbal social cues of body language, tone of voice, facial expression, and display of emotions, we let others know who we are, what we think, how we feel, what we believe, and what we want. If someone is blind to this type of communication and can only understand spoken words, it is easy to understand why he does not understand people. He cannot form even a basic sense of connection to others in childhood. As we get older, communication becomes more complex in meaning, but at the same time more subtle in expression, leaving those with poor emotional intelligence even more confused and lost in their attempts to relate to others.